On May 31st, I decided to “dedicate the month of June to a focused exploration of being Ai-Creo, the artist.” This conviction was brought on by a panic attack I had few days earlier and while in that state of mind, it was as if my higher self was asking me a single question: what are you rooted in? I didn’t know the answer to the question at the moment and that led me to panic even more.

In this 33rd verse of the Tao Te Ching, Lao-tzu invites the reader to focus on self-mastery saying, “One who understands others has knowledge; one who understands himself has wisdom.” I read that this morning and it spoke directly to me, as that is essentially what I had been tasked with, exactly a month ago by my higher self. Over the past 29 days, I’ve consciously turned my gaze inward and to be honest I’ve been surprised at some of my findings. One of them being that I give a lot of my power away by being reactionary to the thoughts and behaviors of others. Another being that I tend to engage in this activity known as catastrophizing! The common denominator in these two scenarios is that I sometimes engage my mind in ways that do not serve me. When and where did I even begin to do this?

I spent many mornings writing in my journal to express thoughts I didn’t even know I had and as a result I gained a clearer perspective and released some things I had been carrying with me unconsciously. Self-mastery requires strength, patience and humility & it’s ultimately a lifelong job because you are always both the observer and the observed. We spend a lot of time mastering the world and all things external without really ever mastering our internal reality. We become like strangers unto ourselves and in moments of chaos, we realize we haven’t built our foundations on solid ground.

Who are you? What are you rooted in?

Ai-Creo